Five Presidents That Could Have Been Rockstars

If our past leaders weren’t so busy thinking, inventing, and working to build a better country could they have been rockstars? Based on appearances alone, I say yes. What would be their position and what genre would they represent? Well, let’s find out.

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A true hipster, Van Buren was the first president born a US citizen, whereas all presidents before him were born prior to the American Revolution. Look at that condescending gaze. It’s a look that says, “meh”.

Band Name: Jackson Cabinet
Genre: Doesn’t subscribe to genres
Instrument[s]: Bass and Keys
Album: “Gorgeous Hussy”


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Here’s a former president that looks as if he could fight 10 men in a drunken rage. Hayes is more metal than America could handle at that time. He left his political career to join the Union Army where he was wounded in battle five times.

Band Name: War Department
Genre: Metal
Instrument[s]: Lead Guitar
Album: “Battle of South Mountain”


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Holy facial hair, Batman! With a look like that he could easily fit in with the new wave of folk that is growing evermore popular. Before becoming president he fought a great deal of adversity. Just what one needs to be brooding.

Band Name: Rivers and Harbors
Genre: Indie Folk
Instrument[s]: Accordion/Washboard
Album: “Collector of the Port”


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Coolidge’s piercing expression leads me to believe that he would have been the most mysterious and elusive man in music. He was reported to have been a man of few words. Perhaps Depeche Mode would have been suitable for him.

Band Name: Silent Cal
Genre: Industrial/Electronica
Instrument[s]: Various
Album: “Laissez-Faire Scandals”


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He was sly, he was handsome, and he had a subtle southern twang. Put a cowboy hat and some tight wrangler blue-jeans on this heart breaker and you’ve got your self a superstar. He’s also a bit of a badass. He survived an assassination attempt during his first term as president.

Band Name: Rock River Disciples
Genre: Old School Country/Rock
Instrument[s]: Vocals/Guitar/Harmonica
Album: “All American”


By Nick Page

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