This ain’t Cinema, This is Genocide

Written by on September 6, 2013


It was the best of times, it was the end of times. This summer delivered to the big screen a cornucopia of mayhem and there’s no denying that the apocalypse has been the new black for the past four months. Some films were fantastic and some were…less than. Which of them was the best? No question, hands down it was The World’s End.

The release of After Earth sparked the doomsday summer movie series and I was very excited for it. Although M. Night Shymalan has damn near directed, written and produced his way into Uwe Boll status, I can’t help but watch his films. I love Unbreakable and in my opinion it is his best work. Being a massive fan of science fiction I was hopeful for After Earth but in the end I was let down. I’m sorry but when a future human race can master prolonged space flight and terraforming but cannot equip an amputee with a new limb, I call bull. Maybe next time Mister Shymalamadingdong.

It was a long time coming and the next big apocalypse film came out swinging. This Is The End gave us a unique view on the rapture and how today’s most popular comedic actors would handle it. We have seen these people everywhere for the last decade. Franco, Rogan, McBride, Hill, etc have all been in some of the biggest comedic films of their time. I personally add this film to the list of the best modern comedies. When you successfully turn Michael Cera into a raging coke addict, I’d say you deserve a handshake and a kiss. Get together with your friends and give this one a watch. As this movie proves, everything is better with your friends.

Perhaps the most popular doomsday movie to hate this summer was the adaptiation of Max Brooks’ Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse, World War Z. Why hate it? Because it was adapted from a kick-ass novel? That’s grounds to hate 90 percent of the films that come out today. While the novel has a depth and richness that I’m sure fans knew the film would not achieve, that does not mean the film was bad. I do wish they would have followed a structure similar to the novel by telling the story of the zombie apocalypse through multiple points of view. Have maybe five segments and bring in a different director and new cast for each story. Perhaps that was an idea that had been swiped off of the table by the studios. Once again, my minuscule complaint does not mean that the movie was bad. On the contrary I thought it was quite good. It was nice to see zombies who were more concerned with spreading their virus rather than stuff their faces with gooey human goodness. Give this one a watch, you may very well be surprised.

What happens when monsters from another dimension rise from the ocean floor and destroy our cities? We build massive robots and we kick ass until they go back from whence they came. Pacific Rim has been highly anticipated since Guillermo Del Toro teased it at SDCC 2012. I had only watched the trailer once so I had a vague idea of what to expect. I was surprised and I really enjoyed this one. The acting was great, it looked fantastic and the story was pretty solid. The combat was repetitive and almost too fast to follow but overall it was very good. It could have been worse. Charlie Hunnam could have sodomized the kaiju into submission. We’ll be getting that soon anyway once a certain terrible book series sees the release of its first adaptation. Get some popcorn and beer, grab your favoriate gal or guy and make a night of this one.

Does anyone count R.I.P.D.? No? Good. It’s just Men In Black anyway.

That brings us to the crowning acheivement of apocalypse movies. For years fans have been waiting for the third installment of the Blood & Ice Cream trilogy and the wait was well worth it. The World’s End follows Gary King as he reuintes with his chilhood friends in order to complete a mile-long pub crawl they once failed as teenagers. Sounds like a good plan, right? It would have been had their hometown not been invaded by a robotic alien race. Of course we all knew this movie had robots in it but why am I including it in the apocalypse genre? I won’t say. You have to watch it for yourself because it is one of the better films to come out this year. I have no complaints. Not one. Edgar Wright and the gang really did a fantastic job as they always do. This is what happens when people with talent, integrity and vision come together. The dialogue is quick, witty and clever while the action is pleasing and fun. I can’t recommend this movie highly enough.

Don’t take my word for it though. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but you should at least give them a try. That’s what loving movies is all about. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose but everytime you take a away an experience that you otherwise would not have.


By Nick Page

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